The international adoption world has always thought about birth culture activities as beneficial events for the Adoptee. It’s been argued that these types of activities foster a meaningful connection to the land and culture they lost as children. As I’ve written in past articles, I struggle with our current paradigm of birth culture enrichment and its primacy in parental strategy for Adoptee identity.

Through my years at Holt, I had never seen a compelling moment around birth culture that affirms our acute emphasis on the birth culture strategy.  That was until I attended Holt’s China Family Heritage tour this summer. Whether it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy or strange ironic event, this tour was significant for everyone involved, but the people most affected may surprise you. 

As I prepared for the tour, I thought about the emotions an Adoptee may experience when visiting their birth country for the first time: excitement, sadness, confusion, elation, anger, etc. With all the potential emotions that could arise, I knew my support would require humility, flexibility and finesse. I was prepared for what I thought would be inevitable drama, and where the unexpected would be the only constant. However, as the tour unfolded, the Adoptees displayed a stoic attitude that took me by surprise. With a blend of jet lag and culture shock, they took in their surroundings, enjoyed the tour and appreciated the vacation. I sensed they were saving the weighty stuff for a later time. But in that moment, they wanted to sit back and enjoy the ride.