Ten years ago, we interviewed a group of young girls in Holt’s educational sponsorship program in India — asking them what they want to be when they grow up, and when (or if) they want to get married. In a community where girls traditionally marry — and drop out of school — by age 15 or 16, this was a radical shift in thought. Today, these girls are grown, independent and leading successful lives and careers. Read the original story.
Ten years ago, as Holt’s senior writer, I traveled to the central India town of Pune to meet children and families in Holt’s child sponsorship program. Through the monthly support of their sponsors, these children had opportunities they would never otherwise dream possible. Most of them were teen or pre-teen girls who would have likely dropped out of school by now to help earn money for their family — or, in some cases, be pushed into early marriage. Their lives and futures would look very different without the kindness and generosity of their sponsors in the U.S., and the guidance and support of their advocates and social workers in India.
After the trip, I wrote a story about one group of girls I met while visiting the DEESHA, a vibrant community center where our long-time partner, BSSK, regularly holds trainings, camps and other activities for children and families living in the surrounding slum community. It was summer in India, and it was hot. Many of the girls wore colorful kurtas and scarves in flowy fabrics as they sat cross-legged and barefoot on the floor. With school out for the season, they were participating in a co-ed summer camp that included both fun activities like singing and dancing — and discussions about important topics like whether marriage should be compulsory, or how to report child abuse and sexual violence.
In one exercise we observed, a group of girls received a question written in Marathi on a little slip of paper. The question was to be read aloud and discussed.
“When do you want to marry?” was the question put to one group of girls.
One 12-year-old girl said she will marry when her parents want her to and when they find a good boy for her. “When I become a teacher and financially independent,” said a reed-thin 13-year-old with tiny hoop earrings and a long braid down her back. Another girl — 14 and serious — said she didn’t want to marry at all. Her father is very dominating, she said, and her mother has no say. This girl wanted to be an administrative officer in the public service once she finished school.
Another 12-year-old said she too had no interest in getting married. Her mother works a lot and has no time to rest, she said. When she grew up, she planned to work hard and give her mother the rest she deserves. This girl hoped to become a computer engineer.
“Today, we are self-reliant and standing on our own feet. The support provided … has helped shape our future. The place we are in today is largely due to [BSSK’s and our sponsors’] contribution, and for this, we express our heartfelt gratitude.” — Sakshi, former sponsored child
In the story, I wrote that “the serious thought and consideration these girls give to the idea of marriage is a sign of true progress in this community. For most of these girls, no one at home ever seriously asks them when — much less if or who — they want to marry. They come from families in which girls marry at 15 or 16 to a husband of their parents’ choosing. In most cases, their mothers are not educated and they are the first girls in their families to go to school past the second or third grade. The thought that they could become a teacher or a public officer or a computer engineer — or that they could choose when, if and who to marry — is a huge shift in thought. And it’s happening right here in this one-room community center of our long-standing partner organization Bharatiya Samaj Seva Kendra (BSSK).”
Today, the barefoot girls we met 10 years ago on that hot summer day in Pune are now in their early-to-mid 20s. All of them completed the 12th grade, which is considered junior college in India. With additional funding from sponsors, several of them went on to pursue bachelor’s degrees. One is in her final year of a master’s degree. Not a single one of them has married or had children yet.
Read about each young woman and what they’re doing with their lives:
When we interviewed Sakshi in 2015, she was 12 years old. She said she would marry when her parents want her to and when they find a good boy for her. In 2024, Sakshi successfully completed her bachelor’s degree in commerce! With the support of Holt sponsors and BSSK, she received support to cover the cost of high school and, with additional help from BSSK, continued on to college. She is currently employed in an accounts and loan department, where she is effectively applying the knowledge gained during her studies. Her thoughts on marriage have changed since our interview, and she now wishes to wait until she — not her parents — find a partner for her.
“Her parents have given her full independence regarding marriage decisions and respect her wish to find a suitable partner when she is ready,” writes Vaishali Vahikar, who served as BSSK’s director of child sponsorship throughout the time these girls were part of Holt sponsorship.
Sakshi also recently shared about her experience as a sponsored child!
“I have been associated with [BSSK] since Grade 4,” she writes. “Since then, I have been receiving continuous educational and financial support from the institution. My family consists of five members — my mother, father, elder sister and brother. Due to my family’s weak financial condition, it was difficult for us to manage the expenses of my education. I faced many difficulties in paying school fees and purchasing books, notebooks and other educational materials. During this challenging time, [BSSK and my sponsors] supported us and stood by us.
Today, we have successfully completed our graduation and are working in good positions/jobs. With the guidance and support of [BSSK and our sponsors], we were able to complete our education. Today, we are self-reliant and standing on our own feet. The support provided … has helped shape our future. The place we are in today is largely due to [BSSK and our sponsors’] contribution, and for this, we express our heartfelt gratitude.”
Kirti was also 12 when we interviewed her. She is the girl who shared that she had no interest in getting married, saying her mother had no time to rest and that she would work hard to give her mom the rest she deserves when she grows up. With support from Holt sponsors, Kirti completed high school. She then continued on to college, and she is now in her final year of a master’s degree in commerce!
“Kirti currently has no immediate plans for marriage as she wishes to independently manage all expenses related to her future wedding through her own earnings,” Vaishali writes.
Shruti was 13 when we met her. At the time, she wanted to become a teacher and said she would marry when she was financially independent. Shruti came from a very small village. When her mother died, her father refused to care for her and her two siblings so they moved to Pune to live with their grandmother. With the support of BSSK and Holt sponsors, she graduated from school and now works as a supervisor in a Pune Municipal Corporation collaborative NGO project! Her responsibilities include coordinating between field workers, the NGO team and local government officials, as well as ensuring the welfare of the workers under her supervision. She is not yet married.
With the support of BSSK and Holt sponsors, Rutuja also graduated from junior college and now works as a data entry operator. “Her parents are currently searching for a suitable marriage proposal,” Vaishali writes. “They wish for Rutuja to continue working even after marriage. However, many prospective grooms from their community prefer a homemaker. Rutuja and her family have decided not to rush into marriage until they find a match who respects her career aspirations.”
Aakansha has now completed her graduation in commerce this year. She is currently working as a dental assistant, while also managing the front desk. “Aakansha is a cheerful and beautiful young woman who chooses to live her life with joy despite the challenges that may arise,” Vaishali writes.
“Each of these young women has demonstrated commendable determination and progress in education, career and personal decision-making,” writes Vaishali.
When I visited the DEESHA in 2015, Vaishali shared with me how vital it is to educate both boys and girls about gender equality, and to impress upon parents the importance of educating their daughters as well as their sons. She also shared about the profound impact that sponsors make in the lives of children in India.
This past November, after 29 years with BSSK, Vaishali retired from BSSK.
“It has been a profound privilege to work for the rights and well-being of underprivileged children and their families, ensuring that every child enjoys their fundamental rights — especially the right to education, the right to expression, and the right to grow in their own family environment,” she writes. “At BSSK, we strongly believe that a loving, safe and nurturing family is the foundation for a child’s holistic development. Our focus has always remained on strengthening families so that children — particularly girls and young women — can grow with dignity, safety, education and a positive mindset without barriers that limit their potential.”
To Holt and our sponsors and donors, she writes, “Your partnership has empowered us to transform the lives of countless children and families. I am truly honored to have contributed to this shared vision.”
To the sponsors who helped the girls in this story achieve their dreams, she writes, “Your support has played a crucial role in empowering [these young women] to become confident, independent and responsible individuals.”
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