MYTH: You and Your Adopted Child Will Feel Love at First Sight.


So many parents fall in love with their idea of what their new child will be like. They fantasize about what a life-changing event this adoption will be, especially for the child. The love of a committed family and everything that comes with that — nurturing, support, healthy food, warm clothing, good schooling, sports teams, art, a lifetime of safety and security. Sometimes, the family member who “discovered” the new arrival on Holt’s waiting child photolisting is a future sibling. This child also has ideas about what their new sibling will be like and what they will do together. Everyone is so excited about the new member of the family and cannot wait to meet the latest addition.

Then finally, the day arrives and you meet this longed-for child. And nothing. Instead of love at first sight, you may instead feel shock, shame, guilt, surprise and confusion. This is not what you are supposed to feel, but it is real.

You are not the first parent to hit the wall of nothingness when they first meet their child. Continue reading “MYTH: You and Your Adopted Child Will Feel Love at First Sight.”

Parents in Process Training

As the overwhelming majority of children now coming home are older or have a special medical need, what children need from parents is much more complex. In response, Holt has expanded our parent education curriculum to help parents be successful and help children thrive in their families.

It’s dinnertime. It was a long day of work, and you just want to get a meal on the table and take a break. However, your daughter has a different idea. She’s on the floor, throwing a full-on tantrum complete with screams, tears and even a few thrown toys — and it’s all over a pair of socks.

A pair of socks your daughter picked out, because she wanted to wear socks.

A pair of socks you already offered to help her put on.

You take a deep breath, and prepare to address her needs. Continue reading “Parents in Process Training”