As options expand for single applicants hoping to adopt internationally, one single mom shares her story of opening her heart and home to a son from China.
“You know what, Mom?”
“I LOVE YOU!”
“I love you, too.”
This is a game my son and I play almost every day. And those are words that I thought I would never hear. I am single and in my 40’s, but ever since I could remember I had always wanted to be a mom. I was confused as to why God would place such a longing in my heart, but not have me married and having children. Then, a few years ago, God turned my heart toward adoption. At first I rebelled. Was I out of my mind? Being single and a busy career woman, I had my hands full managing my job, my home, volunteer work and a personal life. And, to be honest, I was a little selfish about giving it up. How in the world did I think I would be able to add a child to this…all by myself.
But once the seed of possibility was planted, the longing only got stronger. I talked with my pastor, my closest friends, my family (all of them live out of town), and carefully surveyed my support systems. As it turns out, I have several friends in my church family who have adopted, so I talked to them. Then, I took the plunge and called Holt International.
Fifteen months, a completed home study and a dossier later, I was traveling to China with my aunt to meet my 2-year-old son, Timothy, and bring him home. The trip to get my son was a wonderful experience and well supported by Holt staff. But the real adventures began when we arrived home.
My aunt stayed for a few days to help with my adjustment to motherhood, but she was tired and jet-lagged, too, and really needed to get back to her life. I could not have survived those initial weeks had it not been for the support of my closest friends and my church family. Before I went to China, they had arranged a ‘baby shower’ that included not just the usual gifts for a small child, but an organizational chart of meals, errand runners, diaper bringers and prayer support for the first several months after our return. My friends, respecting our initial need for bonding time, stood at the ready to provide the emotional support and encouragement that I needed to begin my motherhood experience. They would send emails, call, drop by briefly with a meal or help me recover from a meltdown. And, when we ventured out to a park, they would meet us there to play ‘separately, together.’ Continue reading “The Single Best Decision”