ot: does your child prefer you or DH?

[Sue in PA]

My DD, who is 2.5 has been prefering my DH over me for several months now.
She enjoys being w. me during the day, and seems well bonded to me, however, when my DH gets in the room, she doesn't want anything to do w. me. When we are at a party or someplace she feels insecure, she reaches right towards DH and is very comforted by him. She is also comforted by me, but completely prefers DH and seeks him over me. Has anyone else experienced this?

[jessica327]

That's almost exactly the way my son is. When we're home alone, he prefers me, but as soon as we go out, or other people enter the mix, he goes straight to my husband, and won't let me near him. I figure I get Quinn to myself all week long, so if he wants to cling to Daddy when he's not working, that's fine with me. Of course, sometimes, it really is a pain when he won't let me hold him, but we deal with it.

[Mom to Korean Kids]

My nearly 5 yo son: me but also loves and wants Daddy around as well
My 3 1/2 yo daughter: both but she is Daddy's girl
My 2 yo daughter: me me me me me

Jen

[familyof5]

My almost 5 year old daughter-- me me me. To the point where my husband gets very left out.

My almost 3 year old son -- both. He says his dad is his best friend, but I still say he's a mama's boy

My little one has only been home for almost 3 weeks, so its hard to say, BUT she and her dad had a special bond since day 1. She bonded with him at the airport (I am not exaggerating). Since this past week, though, she is liking me more and more. I have a feeling she will always have a special bond with her daddy though.

[OneBlessedMama]

Devon prefers daddy to me, because he likes to play "boy stuff", but, if he's anxious or hurt, he only wants mommy.

[The Princess Mom]

Yep! From day one. Although I would love to be the preferred one at times, I think it's just one of those things. This child has an amazing attachment to her father. He is everything that I hope she looks for in a husband someday. She will be secure in her father's love and care and he is an amazing example of what a good father is. I am grateful beyond words for the bond they have. I think that in her case, she needed/needs the special bond with Daddy. I KNEW he would be a good girl daddy, which is why I had always wondered why we had all boys. He's a great boy dad too but I just knew it. God had a plan.

Sometimes I even feel a bit jealous that she prefers daddy. But what you described is our situation exactly. She's bonded tight with me, loves me, hates when I'm gone and asks for me, but there is something special about daddy. Definitely a Daddy's girl.

[jawgee]

Both of my boys preferred me until about 2 1/2, when they really developed a special bond with Daddy.

Marian will come to either of us, but when she needs to sleep or needs a bottle she knows that my ears are better attuned to her.

[staceyc]

BIG time daddy's girl! She loves me-and I know she does-but she LOVES her daddy. It's been that way since she came home-for months she wanted NOTHING to do with me. We have pics of my DH with DD in a Kelty backpack mowing the lawn, barbecuing....the second he got home, she needed to be with him. She loves to shop-so we spend a lot of time together but they are just so close. I was a daddy's girl, so I can't compain.

[JackThomas'mom]

In my home we refer to it as "the vanilla and chocolate ice cream syndrome" and my motto is "someone always has to be the vanilla ice cream" and that's often me!

Seriously, we experience very similar behavior in our home -- my boys seek me out for comfort and to seek "permission" for something, but look to Dad for play and all things fun!

Donna

[stnkyferit]

Yup.....same here, but like others, DS and DH had an immediate bond when they 1st met....For us, we think that DH was the 1st man he ever had a constant and consistent relationship with and who met his needs readily unlike with his female caretakers (he had 9 different caretaker situations before he was 1 y/o)...He looooooves his Daddy....

Now that I am home FT and I am "it", he is all good with me now, and no longer clammers for DH when he gets home from work, however, when he is sick, he ONLY want DH - which makes it difficult for everyone when DH has to work....but we work it out....

[mom.mia.kai]

7 times out of 10 Kai prefers Dad. Mia has always preferred Dad. Maybe he's just a cooler parent than I. LOL.

[Ellie's Mom]

It's all about mom here at our house. Ellie was adopted at 13 months and is now almost five and she has been pretty much attached to my hip the entire time.

[VN2NJ]

I would say its 50/50 at our house. Funny how quickly she chooses depending on which parent is eating a bowl of ice cream !

[Linda in NJ]

Both my kids prefer DH. I attribute it to the fact that he is the Fun Parent while I'm the one with the rules. It's a source of tension in our marriage as well as heartbreaking for me. Dh is trying to be more of a disciplinarian. But when daddy's home, he plays with them. He doesn't drag them to stores or make them clean up their rooms. It is heartbreaking because I feel they don't see me as special. I'm there everyday. Daddy is a treat because he is only home at night and on the weekends.

It was heartbreaking when I was leaving to go to Korea with Chrisitine. They were so happy I was leaving and they were going to be home with Daddy for a whole week. They had no problem with me leaving for a week. Dh said the first day, ds went to his room and cried because he missed me. He said Grace bugged him all week for me to come home. When I got home, it was obvious they missed me. It was an eye-opener for them how much they missed me.

[LeighW]

5 year old DD: me me me me me me

2 year old DS: me me me me me me until I went to Korea for 5 days and came back with a baby who was velcroed to me 24/7. then dh dh dh dh dh dh

just now, 5.5 months later, he likes me again and actually seeks me out sometimes even if dh is in the room.

1 year old DS: me me me me me me