My story........:(

[MaggieA]

I am not an adoptee, I am a parent waiting for out baby sister in China. I am really and trully sorry to hear your sad story. Our daughter cannot wait for her baby sister. She sets her special toys aside for her, and wants to buy every cute outfit in the store. I get all mushy and cry, waiting for our second daugher.
I want you to know, that I never felt complete, even though my own mother raised me. My father abondoned us when she was pregnant with my brother and I was about 16 months. My mother was never lovee dovey. I was expected to fill in and help her around the house, I was expected to have straight A's, I was physically abused when she got mad, and just frustrated with life, as it was very hard for her. My brother was treated differently, he got a lot more cuddles and a lot more love and slack then me. (We full blood siblings.) I never was able to reconcile with my father. My mother passed away in a car accident 11 years ago. A couple of years ago I found out my father had died. Our bio daughter is now 5. I have wonderful friends who fill in where my family has failed. As "Grandma" Sandy said, family is not about blood it's about relationships. She is the best Grandma to my daughter I could have had, and a mother too me I never had.
My husband is a wonderful man, does he fully understand my need to create what I didn't have as child no. He thinks differently then me, does he care yes, does he express it the way I think it should be no. I sought a family counselor and talked over many issues. She helped make peace with them.
Don't dwell on the past the rest of your life. Make life and family with the husband that loves you. Life is too short. Don't regret the decisions you made in the past. You made the right decision for you at that time, noone has any right to tell you different.
Best of luck to you.

[KimNE]

jcarfield, if you read this post again, can you please email me? Thanks.

[kwcasey]

I too had a terrible adoption experience that involved emotional abuse by my mother and sexual abuse by my "dad". And yes, I experienced being the second class child compared to my "golden child" older brother that looked like everybody on my mother's side of the family. I've had no contact with them for 3 yrs now. At this point I feel there will be no contact until the pervert dies and then it's still questionable if I'll even want to speak to my mother. I posted my story for the book that Holt is working on, but I'd be surprised if they include it. If you're interested contact me at kwcasey1@gmail.com. Part of my healing has been to be more open about my misery in hopes of helping other victims speak up and get counseling.

I urge you to seek counseling, preferably Christain. www.troublewith.com is a good website that'll help you connect with a counselor close by. It is part of Focus on the Family. I have found 2 wonderful counselors through them. Counseling and opening up has been incredible for me. I'm learning to like myself and my posture shows it.

It also helps that I have a wonderful husband (God's best gift to me, next to salvation). I don't think your husband is disinterested in your painful childhood. It may be that he's the typical husband that wants to fix it for you, but has no idea how. So explain that you're not expecting him to solve the problem, but just to listen. Sometimes my husband also reminds me the importance of looking to the future more than the past.

You're not alone. Thanks for being brave enough to post and start the healing process for you and the rest of us.

[scatterbrainliz]

Thank you for sharing your story. It really touched me as I had similar experience growing up. You're not alone.

[DMZ]

Reading your story was extremely upsetting to me....I'm glad to hear your still going on inspite of it all!