by 2ndTimeAround » Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:28 pm
This article brings to mind a very recent conversation. I was just speaking to a child psychologist at our swimming pool and he explained how crucial, crucial, crucial eye contact is for a newborn - baby - small child.
It was interesting to me that what I always considered my sweet, but very, veRY, VERY strong willed 8 year old, was just that, a strong will. But in speaking with this lovely person and reading some articles that person sent to me after we talked, it's so clear that it is likely something to do with attachment issues. And here I thought in coming home at just under one, and seemingly bonding with no hic'cups there was no issue about attachment.
He explained how attachment issues can result in a very strong willed child, a seemingly rebellious child, a very smart survivor child and a child that will often say either "you don't love me," or ask on-end, "do you love me," and so on. There were so many things he mentioned that I identified with that I was certain he had a hidden camera in our house! And as a Mom E. Person, I have to say on the flip side of my daugther's strong will side, she is one of the most caring, helpful to friends, imaginative, funny people I know!
He explained with children that have attachment issues (I hate that word "issues") is to stay firm with discipline because unknowingly they will push and push and push until they get reactions from a central care give so being patient is the most important trait for any parent dealing with this.
I learned that while a child may have been very cared for in the first year or so, i.e. foster or special care give, there's a mile-wide gap when it comes to getting the true one-on-one face time that can have lasting effects on behaveour. The lovely and very communicative psychologist also explained that with certain practices, the trajectory can be guided so that the child is better able to handle their emotions as they enter their tween and teen years.
Just thought I'd share this and if anyone would like, I'll attach or link to the aritcles -
Collene