We have now had Payal home for four months.
She is continuing to progress in all areas. We still have a "love/hate" relationship in that I am the only one she wants for comfort if she is sick or upset, and I am the only one she really express rage/anger or defiance with. She is adored by all...
She is now potty-trained...even through the night, although we still put a pull-up on at night.
We have what I think are almost normal two y/o "stand-offs" vs "rages". Tonight, for example, she refused to wash her hands for dinner. She laid on the floor and cried while our dinner got cold. After about fifteen minutes of me sitting there and watching her cry, and realizing she was really not going to eat without washing her hands, the tears suddenly were turned off and she washed her hands without further incident. We then had a pleasant meal. It seems like she is waiting for me to hold a grudge or something, but I always do my very best not to let her sense any frustration from me, and simply carry on as if she had made the "right" decision immediately. I am trying to let her decisions to be disobedient carry their own direct consequences instead of seeming like a punishment from me. I also try to limit the number of confrontations we have, and have them in private if possible. For example, when I could sense a defiant stand-off about to occur at the mall I simply did not engage her challenge...She was thinking she was going to sit down in the middle of the mall and refuse to walk and have a tantrum. I picked her up and said "oh, your legs must be tired and you want me to carry you!....and I am going to have to tickle you while I do it! I was able to distract her from her plan.
Tonight, it was obvious she was just wanting to challenge my authority. I chose to take this one on because I had the time, energy, and patience. I know that this was a direct challenge to authority because she knows how to wash her hands, and does so both at home and at school...and usually does so willing when asked. These challenges are more likely to occur at the end of the work week or on a day she has had less sleep. In some cases, I think this is because she is feeling the need for more attention. Many times, I can sense this, and that is why many times I choose to deflect the challenge instead of acknowledge it and give her more attention-- instead of reinforcing in her mind that she can get attention by undesirable behavior.
So, all in all her behavior and sleep have improved. We are still co-sleeping with her. Her toddler bed is on a platform to make it the same level as our bed and it is directly next to ours. She often reaches out for contact in the middle of the night but is content to know someone is there "within" reach. Since we both work, we feel that she may need this closeness. We have no plans to change it anytime soon since we are all sleeping better. She usually wakes up with a smile on her face...which is an improvement. She starts of the day "on the wrong foot" if we have both gotten up to get ready for work,and no one is there in bed when she first wakes up.
We are still having some issues with proper treatment of the dog. There is jealousy of any attention I give to my other daughters. My older daughters have been great, but that said, they are feeling deprived of my attention. I am trying to find time to give them individual "mommy time".
Physically, she has had some continuing issues. She has had vague GI problems with the tests thus far only revealing fat malabsorption and possible IGA deficiency. We had blood drawn again yesterday for more tests after she was sick again last week...
One of the best, yet worst experiences thus far occurred last Saturday. Worst because it was a unpleasant experience, best because it showed me the true character of my 11 year old daughter--my hero!...Picture this: We (Payal, dd, and I )are in the front row of a sold out last performance of the Nutcracker ballet...At the beginning of the second act Payal (without any prior symptoms) becomes violently ill. She vomited amazing amounts of the most foul vomitus I have ever smelled! It was LOUD, UNCONTROLLABLE, and PROJECTILE!!! If we had not been in the front row, it would have been in the hair of at least six people in front of us...so thank God for small favors! I tried to contain it the best I could by holding up her dress. I was wearing my "skinny jeans" and UGG boots. By the time I had gathered her up to remove her from the auditorium, I was swishing eggs, chocolate milk, and pomegranates between my toes. The stench was unbelievable! Outside the auditorium, I stripped her down to her diaper and bagged her clothes. I was COVERED. I found the janitor and he gave me spray and vomit absorbing powder. I doused myself in both and was prepared to go back in to clean up for the sake of those still trying to enjoy the show while pinching their noses. (the Janitor refused to do it) Payal, however, was not letting me out of her sight and started screaming bloody murder when I tried to leave her with my daughter. My DD took the towels, powder, and spray and in front of 900 people cleaned up the vomit of her newly adopted sister...by herself. No one offered to help.
Backstage my oldest daughter (one of the dancers) found out what happened because the others dancers came off stage plugging their noses complaining that some little girl was "pukeing" all over the front row...and evidently, even the dancers could smell it! What a show! How many 11 year olds could stomach that task, let alone by themselves in front of a full audience. Despite the fact that no one offered to help, a man did find dd after and tell her what a great job she did...I am sure others were also impressed by her actions. No one is more impressed than her mother!
We have an US of her abd and pelvis next week ( we are looking for a cause of her GI prob. as well as following up on some ovarian cysts). She has only gained 8/10 of a pound since her arrival and now weighs 22 lbs @ 27 months. She is scheduled to get tubes in her ears on the 29th. We have one more appmt with the ENT before surgery to see if the fluid has cleared...if so, we will cancel the surgery. She had an eye exam last week that revealed significant near-sightedness. This explained why she does not seem to recognize me when I come to the door of her class room. Her eyes are healthy...she will just need glasses in the future. We have not made it to the dentist, yet. We are busy,busy, busy...another year when Christmas cards do not look like they are going to get done.
Payal met Santa...and dds had prepped her to ask for a play kitchen. That said, we are giving her cleaning supplies: mop, vacuum, window washing kit, etc...All toddler sized, but workable. Payal does not have any interest in toys, but loves to clean! ( She also loves dancing, shopping, my Ipad, and pretty dresses...)
Merry Christmas to you all! I have not been able to follow the site as I used to...I will up date again after the Holidays.
P.S. did you see 20/20's piece on the "Disappearing Daughters of India"??? It was on last Friday.