Staying Focused On What is Important

[Michele H]

We adopted our first child from VCT about 20 years ago...then our 5th child about 8 years ago...and our youngest came home from VCT 5 years ago...and are adopting our 7th child, a little boy from VCT right now...

This time around has been unbelievably difficult and I am so thankful he is at VCT getting all the love and attention he needs or I would be an Absolute Wreck! Our first 2 adoption processes had things go wrong here and there...last process went perfect (home in less than 10 months)...this process, this time, if anything can go wrong it has...

Mostly I really feel badly for you moms that are waiting for you much loved first child that will fill your empty arms...it's just so, so, so hard to wait for a baby when you need each other so much...

What adds to the frustration is the build up in bureaucrasy both here in the US and in India that, while supposedly well intentioned is keeping kids without families...which leads to difficulty in attaching once they are home. In working with Holt for 20 years--and yes, Dean was around then, too--and even using the same SW--I am sensing, as never before, that they are really frustrated with the process. There is just so little control and so much uncertainty. I have had conversations with parents using other agencies and working with other countries and I am getting the same impression. It has got to be incredibly frustrating to be doing a job helping children and families and suddenly feel like all the rules are changed ...

That said--We've got to keep our focus on what is important...The Children

Yes, we are frustrated...Yes, we do not know when CARA will receive paperwork or judges will approve adoptions or BLAH BLAH BLAH... But our kids need us ...there is no one but us to stand and fight--and pray--for them...They have been abandoned once, we cannot let them be abandoned again. So when you are feeling discouraged in this process, please vent on this board, eat some chocolate, pray...BUT DO NOT GIVE UP!

If you've ever read the story of Harry and Bertha Holt you'll understand the significance of this Bible verse...

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west;
I will say to the north, Give them up!
and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.
Isaiah 43:5-7

[Sandwich in Wi]

Like.

hugs, Michele.

[shagarwa]

Thank you for the reminder that the children need us and that is what is most important. Too often lately I have been getting caught up in my own selfish needs of wanting to be (a first time) mom and going through the "why me" phase.

Headed to the kitchen to get some chocolate

Thanks!

[RachelY]

Love it - thanks!! Nope, will not give up - we know that God has us in this process and every time we ask Him 'are you SURE we're supposed to be doing this??', he says 'Yes, you are'. So that's that.
Do you know where we can read Harry & Bertha Holt's story?

Rachel

[Sandwich in Wi]

Try this: http://www.holtinternational.org/about/historical.shtml

[sumi]

Today of all days i needed to read this...i have read this post several times but haven't responded....i have already brought Amay home...so though i am not in the process of waiting, i often forget to put my children first....it has been super hectic since Amay came home and i forget how hard it must be for all three of the kids to find a spot again in the family...but when my husband comes home from work and asks "how was your day?"...i go on complaining about how horrible the kids were...but often forget the emotions that they must all be feeling right now with this new toddler addition to our family...i need to keep remembering that this is a psychological change for everybody, not just me...that even my 2 year old daughter must feel something with this new addition even though she might not be able to express it in words...thank you michele for this post......i am so in awe of all your adoptions....you are a true inspiration.....i am already not sure where i am headed with Amay....thinking about even one more adoption is difficult...and you are on your 7th???...wow!!!....you are truly great! God bless you....

[Sandwich in Wi]

Sumi: More HUGS to you and I'm so glad you're able to take a minute for yourself and check in here to find some support and inspiration. You're not in WI, are you? I'll come babysit!

Blessings,
Sandwich

[sumi]

Thanks Sandwich......i am not in WI...i am in illinois....but i am so desperate for time to myself i am willing to drive to WI and drop the kids off...hahah....j/k.....things have been good.....not great, just good....i am just waiting for the day when i absolutely love Amay everyday, and not just some days here and there...that is the hardest part for me...when will that day come?.....ugghhhh......i want to love him so much, but for some reason, won't let myself....what is wrong?.....anyhow, definitely trying to stay focused on what is important....my 3 kiddos!!!.....good night girls!