We adopted our first child from VCT about 20 years ago...then our 5th child about 8 years ago...and our youngest came home from VCT 5 years ago...and are adopting our 7th child, a little boy from VCT right now...
This time around has been unbelievably difficult and I am so thankful he is at VCT getting all the love and attention he needs or I would be an Absolute Wreck! Our first 2 adoption processes had things go wrong here and there...last process went perfect (home in less than 10 months)...this process, this time, if anything can go wrong it has...
Mostly I really feel badly for you moms that are waiting for you much loved first child that will fill your empty arms...it's just so, so, so hard to wait for a baby when you need each other so much...
What adds to the frustration is the build up in bureaucrasy both here in the US and in India that, while supposedly well intentioned is keeping kids without families...which leads to difficulty in attaching once they are home. In working with Holt for 20 years--and yes, Dean was around then, too--and even using the same SW--I am sensing, as never before, that they are really frustrated with the process. There is just so little control and so much uncertainty. I have had conversations with parents using other agencies and working with other countries and I am getting the same impression. It has got to be incredibly frustrating to be doing a job helping children and families and suddenly feel like all the rules are changed ...
That said--We've got to keep our focus on what is important...The Children
Yes, we are frustrated...Yes, we do not know when CARA will receive paperwork or judges will approve adoptions or BLAH BLAH BLAH... But our kids need us ...there is no one but us to stand and fight--and pray--for them...They have been abandoned once, we cannot let them be abandoned again. So when you are feeling discouraged in this process, please vent on this board, eat some chocolate, pray...BUT DO NOT GIVE UP!
If you've ever read the story of Harry and Bertha Holt you'll understand the significance of this Bible verse...
Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west;
I will say to the north, Give them up!
and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--
everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.
Michele...mom of 6 terrific kids...and my surprise baby (at age 49) is Micah Nagaraj at VCT...he just turned 2 yo and we just sent the dossier to India...so our 7-12 mo countdown begins... "I am such a happy momma"